Oh no!!! The Gobbler Supper Club and Motel is no more!
Carol O'Neil of Johnson Creek, WI, reports the sad news. "The Gobbler Restaurant and Motel have been closed and opened several times recently. The restaurant has undergone numerous changes and is now opened under its third name in about five years. It no longer has purple carpeting on the walls. The motel is now called King Arthur's Inn. Gone also are the fancy rooms with the mirrors on the walls and the round beds. Its current claim to fame is the nudist colony that meets there occasionally. Much of the land is now taken up with a gas station, small strip malls, a twelve screen theatre, an office building, and some fast food joints. Since Planned Parenthood is located in one of the strip malls, excitement abounds when the Missionaries for the Preborn show up."
Overlooking Interstate 94, exactly halfway between Milwaukee and Madison, Wisconsin, sits an exotic eating, drinking, and lovemaking oasis called The Gobbler. The Gobbler's billboard is emblazoned with a big smiling turkey holding a microphone, beckoning you to EXIT HERE!!!
Perched like the majestic bird for which it was named, the Gobbler Supper Club is the only one of its kind in all the world, conceived to enhance the role of Tom Turkey as the All-American delicacy.
The famous Gobbler Supper Club is an adventure in architecture. From the moment you see the distinctive lines of the building's exterior, the curvature of the corridors, the elegance of its accommodations, you know that at last you've found the something special you've been searching for.
The building's 1950's rotunda design features natural lava stone (simulating ruffled turkey feathers) topped by a smooth white stucco dome. Sandwiched neatly between this blend of Flintstone Primitive and Star Trek Futura are the elliptical window "eyes" of the Gobbler.
When you enter the foyer, you become enveloped in a lavish atmosphere of pink and purple. The custom-turkey carpeting on the floor meets comely shag-covered walls. In fact, shag carpeting swaddles every structure in sight, including handrails and doors, bringing to mind visions of Barbie in Las Vegas -- an ambiance of pure fuzz, if you will.
Drinking at the Gobbler is literally a revolutionary experience. The bar platform makes a complete rotation every hour and twenty minutes. Order the "Wild Turkey Fizz" while seated in a plush, vinyl, button-tufted, barrel chair, and you'll be treated to the Gobbler's sweeping art collection, including melancholy family pets, a John Wayne portrait on velvet, and dozens of majestic landscapes. You can even purchase fine artworks by local talent without even leaving your seat.
Turkey is the gourmet spotlight 365 days a year in the popular Gobbler Lavender Dining Room. Almost every item on the menu contains turkey in one form or another. This may be due, in part, to the fact that the original owner, C.W. Hartwig (now deceased and buried on the motel hill overlooking the Supper Club), raised turkeys on his nearby Johnson Creek ranch.
The Gobbler Motel is a new and exciting experience in good living, a quiet escape into a world of color and romance-intimate luxury in a way you've never had it before. These elegant rooms are designed with such originality that visitors travel great distances just to look inside!
The 49 personalized units offer a wide variety of living comforts, with your choice of either Countryside or Poolside Rooms. Sunken baths, king-sized water beds, color TV, and 8-track tape decks comes gratis in each room along with the ever-present shag, shag, shag surfaces to fit your special individual needs. Plus, there's a game room, as well as miniature golf, tennis, and sauna facilities.
With fifty acres of Gobblerland on which to roam, who could be bored? For reservations, call (414) 699-3451. Keep in mind, August means Tractor Pull Days in Johnson Creek, so be sure and call far in advance. See you there!
[TiltHome] [GipperIssue] [EarlyMadness] [No.5]
[PenisPage] [PeoplePage] [FeaturedWriters] [StoryCollection] [ExpressoPoems] [TheFunnies]