Warren has edited many collections of women's humor. Here are a few,
which can be pruchased from Amazon.com:
Men Are from Detroit Women Are from Paris
Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes
Mothers: Cartoons by Women
Dyke Strippers: Lesbian Cartoonists from A to Z
Best Contemporary Women's Humor
Q: Janice and Edward have been married for twelve years. They have two children. Edward is an accountant. Edward and Janice have intercourse once a week, on Wednesday night at 9:15. Sex lasts for three minutes -- until Edward comes. Then Edward falls asleep. Janice has tried wearing provocative clothing, has hinted about foreplay, has read aloud pertinent Penthouse letters on the subject, but Edward refuses to help his wife reach orgasm. Is there a solution to Janice's problem?
A: Yes -- the new .44 magnum from Dan Wesson Arms, a snubby with plenty of firepower and admirable accuracy. Great for quick, close-in action shooting. Wham, bam, thank you ... BLAM!
A: Susi can keep Jay at home -- permanently
-- with the Smith & Wesson "Lady Smith." The Lady Smith
chambers the .38 Special and is surprisingly accurate at short distances.
And the words "Lady Smith" are sculpted right on the gun,
for that personal touch.
Q: Harold has been going out with Samantha for five years now but won't marry her. She adores him and is ready to settle down, but Harold says he isn't ready to commit. Plus, he two-times and three-times her, going out with scads of other women. Samantha is getting fed up with Harold's immature, selfish behavior and would like to stop his running around. What's the answer?
A: There's no simple answer to a problem like this. There are a number of options open to Samantha. There's the American Derringer Semmerling LM-4 and the Beretta Model 84BB. There's also the Browning Buck Mark Varmint, the Bersa Model 85, or the Colt Lightweight Commander. Or even the Colt Mustang Pocket Lite. Samantha has some tough choices to make. She should probably consult her minister, spiritual advisor, and/or horoscope to help her with an important decision like this one.
Other stories and essays by Roz Warren in Expresso Tilt:
Send email to Roz Warren or visit rosalindwarren.com.
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