Tips for Writers

What NOT to do to achieve fabulous fame and fortune

by Mike Walsh

Writers, study the tips below, learn what NOT to do, and then put your new found knowledge to work. It won't be long before you'll be lavishing in the rewards that even the most meager mind can reap. Simply put, we guarantee publication or your money back.

And why, you ask, should you follow these tips? Money! Why else? Big, wonderful money. Great gobs of it. Writers make money--and plenty of it too--writing greeting cards, instructions, phone books, maps, cartoons, menus, gags, and advertising materials all without leaving the comforts of home! So don't be left out. You can do it too.

Look at me! I flunked freshman comp, yet this year alone I may make as much as $7,500,060.98! Believe it or not, I do most of my writing on week nights while watching TV. The rest of the time I sit around counting money with my two accountants. Why there's a big pile of money sitting right here beside me.

So if you aspire to a successful writing career, don't, under any circumstances, ever...

By the way, I'm writing this sitting cross-legged on a luxurious carpet in my penthouse, which just so happens to have a marvelous skyline view. So don't delay. All this and more can be yours. Stop doing all those things that are ruining your career. Then sit back and watch the money roll in.

You're gonna make a killing. Guaranteed!

Other pieces by Mike Walsh.

[TiltHome] [GipperIssue] [EarlyMadness] [No.5] [No.6] [No.7] [No.8] [No.9] [No.10]
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