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Problem Child
Junior from Problem Child
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Average Guy
Tom Hanks characters
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Bush
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Winner
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Temperament
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Says nasty things behind other peoples backs.
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Very even tempered and fair. Jim Lovell in Apollo 13 stays calm and
polite despite life-threatening circumstances.
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Calls a reporter who doesnt agree with him a major league asshole.
After former U.S. Ambassador Joseph Wilson shows that
the Bush administration lied about Iraq purchasing uranium from
Niger, the Bushies punish him by leaking news that his wife is a
CIA operative.
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Problem Child
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Violence
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Very violent. Physically harms nuns, his grandfather, and his father. Torches
bedroom because he doesnt like the way his new parents decorated
it.
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Never harms anyone except during war time to protect his platoon.
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Very violent. Unleashes shock and awe on Iraq even
though the justification is false. Signs 152 death warrants during
tenure as governor, making him the most lethal governor in US history.
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Problem Child
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Integrity
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Coyly prays to God for forgiveness in front of his father to avoid punishment
after wreaking mayhem.
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Impeccable integrity. When one of his crew is scratched from the mission by
a supervisor, Jim Lovell takes it upon himself to give the guy the
bad news in person. Plus, he doesnt badmouth the supervisor.
Capt. Miller in Saving Private Ryan urges his men to show no hostility
toward Pvt. Ryan.
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In late 1980s he sells stock in Harken in what appears to be insider trading.
He files papers required by SEC eight months late but claims that
the SEC lost the paperwork. He later blames the snafu on his lawyer.
Bush repeats lame, unsubstantiated allegations about Iraq from British dossier.
Convinces voters in Texas to finance a baseball stadium. When it is complete,
sells his share for an enormous profit.
Wins presidential election by keeping thousands of
Florida votes from being counted.
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Problem Child
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Respect
for Others
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Other peoples opinions are irrelevant, even his fathers.
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Capt. Miller of Saving Private Ryan and Paul Edgecomb of The Green
Mile respect the opinions of their soldiers and staff. Edgecomb
even respects the opinion of the convicts on death row.
After a disastrous mission, Jim Lovell says, Gentlemen,
its been a privilege flying with you.
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Other peoples opinions are irrelevant, even our longtime allies
opinions. In Bush At War by Bob Woodward, Bush states, Im
the commander... see, I dont need to explain why I say things.
Thats the interesting thing about being president. I dont
feel like I owe anybody an explanation. Bush evidently forgot
that he owes explanations for everything he says and does to the
people of this country.
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Problem Child
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Vocabulary
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Uses bad language. Curses frequently.
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Almost never curses.
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Very bad at using language, but dont misunderestimate
him.
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Problem Child
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Open-Mindedness
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Open-minded? Whats that?
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Paul Edgecomb has open mind about the guilt of John Coffey, a convicted killer.
He comes to realize that Coffey is actually innocent.
Sam Baldwin in Sleepless in Seattle accepts flaws in others. Dates
a woman with a horrendous laugh.
When a member of his crew is replaced at the last
minute, Jim Lovell in Apollo 13 is very supportive of the
new guy, even though hes inexperienced.
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Narrow-minded. Intellectually dishonest. Ideology determines everything. If
his rigid opinion doesnt match the facts, he manipulates the
facts.
For example, Bush came into office with a firm conviction that warnings of
global warming were bad science. But he knew nothing
about the problem and had to be tutored by experts before a trip
to Europe, so he could discuss the issue intelligently. But Bush
still hasnt budged in his narrow, irresponsible position even
though the United States emits one-fourth of worlds greenhouse
gasses.
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Problem Child
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Friendship
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Betrays his only friend, his father.
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The kind of guy who would be a great friend and fun to be around. Well-liked
by other characters.
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Bush has completely alienated many of the USs closest friends. Even
the British wont share intelligence information with the Bush
administration.
When endemic fraud at Enron is made public, Bush says
that Ken Lay was never a close friend. Yet Lay was at the White
House a great deal before the scandal, he loaned Bush a jet during
the 2000 presidential campaign, and Lay was one of Bushs pioneer
fundraisers.
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Kindness
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When a little girl disses him, he gets back at her by ruining her birthday
party and throwing her gifts into the pool.
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Paul Edgecomb doesnt allow cruelty to the inmates even though theyre
on death row.
Jim Lovell hugs a sick crew member to keep him warm.
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Bush touts compassionate conservatism, but his policies always
favor big industry and the wealthy at the expense of consumers.
He cuts the budgets of social programs at every opportunity.
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Problem Child
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Honesty
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Lies repeatedly to avoid punishment.
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Unfailingly honest. He does not lie or deceive to get his way.
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Will say anything to get his way. Calls a tax cut for the wealthy a jobs
program.
Claimed to have over 40 nations in the coalition of the willing.
In fact, only a half-dozen nations participate in the Iraq invasion
and only the British make a significant contribution.
Opposes Patients Bill of Rights because he claims
that it will lead to more lawsuits, when he knows it hasnt
in Texas.
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Problem Child
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Conscience
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No evidence of a conscience.
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About the execution of John Coffey, Paul Edgecomb states, On the day
of my judgment, when I stand before God, and He asks me why did
I kill one of his true miracles, what am I gonna say? That is was
my job?
Capt. Miller in Saving Private Ryan feels guilty about the death of
his men and killing in general.
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Doesnt know what a moral dilemma is. Never expresses any second thoughts
about Iraqi death or destruction. As Rumsfeld said about Bush, When
he makes a decision, he makes it, and he doesn't go back and worry
about it.
During his 2000 presidential campaign, he seemed to
gloat over the record number of death warrants he signed in Texas.
During a magazine interview, he mocked Karla Faye Tucker on her
pleas to be spared the death penalty.
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Problem Child
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Consistency
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Runs away from home with a serial killer. When he realizes that the serial
killer is nasty, he switches allegiance back to his father.
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Stands by his convictions. Doesnt waver.
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Bush campaigned for a kinder, gentler SEC.
When the Enron scandal broke and the public clamored for stronger
regulations, Bush suddenly switched course and embraced the Sarbanes-Oxley
Act. He and the Republican party had opposed stronger SEC regulations
in 1998, which might have saved consumers billions.
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Problem Child
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Concern
for the Environment
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During a camping trip, he shoots a slingshot at birds, pees on a campfire,
and lures a bear to the campsite to terrorize the other campers.
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Lives on a lake in Sleepless in Seattle. Admires the natural beauty
of the earth and the moon in Apollo 13.
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Little or no concern for the environment:
Eliminated or weakened as many environmental laws as possible since
his inauguration.
Broke his campaign promise to regulate CO2 emissions.
Stopped lawsuits initiated by the Clinton administration against polluting
Midwest electricity plants.
Had a terrible environmental record as governor
of Texas.
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Problem Child
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Bravery
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Wreaks havoc but only when no one is watching.
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Jim Lovell in Apollo 13 and Capt. Miller in Saving Private Ryan
perform extraordinarily brave acts to save their men.
In Cast Away, Chuck Noland says, I would
rather take my chances out there on the ocean than stay here and
die.
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Attacks Afghanistan and Iraq, two virtually defenseless countries.
Evidently afraid to face tough questions during press conferences.
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Problem Child
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Patriotism
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Junior does not utter one patriotic word during the movie.
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Capt. John Miller is willing to risk his life and
the lives of his men to save Private Ryan and ease the suffering
of Ryans mother.
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Bushs father got him in the Coast Guard, so he didnt have to serve
in Vietnam.
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Problem Child
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Vindictiveness
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He beats up several kids with a baseball bat when they call him names during
a baseball game.
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Never vindictive. Paul Edgecomb of The Green Mile punishes a ruthless,
sadistic guard, but only after repeated cruelties.
When Sam Baldwins son runs away in Sleepless in Seattle, he flies
across the country to find him. When he finds him, Sam doesnt
punish him but says, Youre all I have.
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Legendary for his vindictiveness. When the UN refuses to buckle to Bushs
bullying tactics, Bush and his cronies do the following:
Tries to keep France, Germany, and Russiathe coalition of
the unwillingfrom being reimbursed for loans to Iraq
and from getting contracts to help rebuild Iraq.
Warns France that it will suffer consequences for having opposed the
war on Iraq.
Threatens to withdraw military bases from Germany.
Bans US firms from attending the Paris air show.
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Problem Child
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Modesty
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Junior is boastful and cocky.
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Capt. Miller and Jim Lovell dont make claims of bravery or heroism,
even though both are very heroic.
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Brags and says things like dead or alive
or bring em on. He reveals a childish machismo
when he dons a flight outfit and lands on an aircraft carrier to
celebrate easy victory in Iraq. Has a need to prove hes a
tough guy.
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Problem Child
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Maturity
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None. Decidedly immature.
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Handles responsibilityshipping center, death row, battalion, Apollo
moon missionfairly and maturely.
Jim Lovell doesnt blame his crew after a major accident and does not
let his crew argue among themselves.
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Bush never apologizes. Always has a new excuse for lame behavior. Wont
admit a mistake. Has Tenet, then Stephen Hadley, then Condi Rice
take blame for the false claim that Iraq purchased uranium from
Niger.
Bush received a DUI and lost his license in Maine
during the 1970s. He did not reveal the arrest while governor of
Texas or during the 2000 presidential campaign, despite numerous
opportunities. When the DUI was reported in 2000, he doesnt
apologize for being dishonest. Instead, Bush blames the man who
revealed the incident.
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Problem Child
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Likeability
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None. Nuns have a party when Junior is adopted. His new father fantasizes
about suffocating him with a pillow.
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His underlings in The Green Mile and Apollo 13 admire him greatly.
Sam Baldwin receives hundreds of marriage proposals
in the mail.
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A vast majority of the worlds population despises him.
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Problem Child
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Pack
Mentality
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When the problem child becomes an adolescent, he normally joins forces with
other like-minded adolescents to form a gang, which creates even
more havoc, such as beating up weaker kids and stealing their money.
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Independent. No pack mentality.
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Keeps his gangRice, Rumsfeld, Cheney, Tenet, Powell, Ashcrofton
a short leash. They stay on topic all day, everyday, repeating falsehoods
if necessary. Bush aggressively investigates any leaks from his
gang.
Takes care of his own with tax cuts and refuses to release documents from
previous administrations that might embarrass his gang members.
California votes for Gore, so Bush does nothing while
his friends in the energy industry, including Enron, rip off California
residents for billions. Then he blames California for the energy
deregulation fiasco.
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Problem Child
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Cynicism
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Thinks everyone else is extremely stupid.
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Never cynical. Sam Baldwin in Sleepless in Seattle
believes that true love happens only once. All characters surmount
difficult odds, creating a positive impression of mans capabilities.
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Assumes that the American public is extremely stupid if he thinks he could
get away with so many obvious lies.
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Problem Child
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